I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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