ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm at about main and main street
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
