nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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