Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
