She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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