we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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