I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
