question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
