If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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