im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
