Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
