Where did you get a picture of my penis
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
