If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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