So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Can you bring me the toilet please
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
