my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
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