paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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