he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
