Jerry, you need to find god
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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