Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.

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(801): View more from Utah

Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.

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(301): View more from Maryland

in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life

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(908): View more from New Jersey

If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."

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(785): View more from Kansas

I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.

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(614): View more from Ohio

just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible

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(419): View more from Ohio

I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.

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(727): View more from Florida

The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.

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