I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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