My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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