When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
