Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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