Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
