does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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