Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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