I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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