Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
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Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
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She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night