Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!

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(310): View more from California

My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra

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(208): View more from Idaho

I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy

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(480): View more from Arizona

Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.

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(517): View more from Michigan

The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.

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(516): View more from New York

And you hate the library

(1-516): View more from New York

Yea but I love drugs and my grades

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