all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....