Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.

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  (516): Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city. http://tfl.nu/k96c
  Replies (14) Good night (1263) Bad night (583)
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  (805): View more from California

  found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.

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  (805): found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt. http://tfl.nu/65bm
  Replies (24) Good night (6216) Bad night (570)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.

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  (580): I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch. http://tfl.nu/axjt
  Replies (31) Good night (6081) Bad night (961)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.

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  (919): You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume. http://tfl.nu/gckc
  Replies (46) Good night (13273) Bad night (946)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.

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  (202): For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well. http://tfl.nu/xnfi
  Replies (46) Good night (4331) Bad night (1825)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz

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  (716): People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz http://tfl.nu/sutg
  Replies (87) Good night (16016) Bad night (2962)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.

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  (281): I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely. http://tfl.nu/tovx
  Replies (16) Good night (4823) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.

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  (731): the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink. http://tfl.nu/2z0e
  Replies (17) Good night (4277) Bad night (1961)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse

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  (740): she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse http://tfl.nu/30t8
  Replies (14) Good night (4753) Bad night (1044)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.

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  (807): I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill. http://tfl.nu/m363
  Replies (4) Good night (2354) Bad night (839)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?

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  (919): are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet? http://tfl.nu/54if
  Replies (14) Good night (4224) Bad night (1154)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?

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  (352): Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room? http://tfl.nu/ie68
  Replies (14) Good night (2470) Bad night (587)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night

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  (262): Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night http://tfl.nu/r3zi
  Replies (2) Good night (1299) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?

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  (512): Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night? http://tfl.nu/ccoz
  Replies (7) Good night (473) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  This is what happens when wu tang raised you

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  (920): This is what happens when wu tang raised you http://tfl.nu/8sl4
  Replies (4) Good night (700) Bad night (293)

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