I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize