the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
