I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So much rum. So many feels.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I am naked and annoyed.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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