I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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