Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
