your thong is hanging out like whoa
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow