do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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