my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I could fuck to npr.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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