she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
this hospital has no fireball
Dick very happy bro
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.