So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
