ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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