Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
