i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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