i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You had me at "let me see your balls"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
