Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
