so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
