May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
