dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I had to cum in my sink.
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