My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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