Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
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you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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