Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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