We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
