my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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