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I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
