I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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