So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize