Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize