All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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