I just saw a hot homeless man
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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