This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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