Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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