She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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