I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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