Me. At least after what I've been through.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
