I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
