all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
