I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize